Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
