For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
