So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think my mom watched the whole time
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize