just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
