On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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