I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
