You just made me feel so damn special
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
