I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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