we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
