The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
