OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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