You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
