??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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