No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
