College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize