Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
