i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
