fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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