I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
