Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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