"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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