i need an iv and a liver transplant
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
