Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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