Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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