So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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