And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
