Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
