I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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