That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
