well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
