sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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