Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
