The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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