I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
