Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
