Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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