No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
