hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
