Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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