My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I want her autograph on my taint
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
