Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
