i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
