why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
