Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This is not my ceiling
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
