i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
