he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
