Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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