I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
