Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
