but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
