She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
