I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
