why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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