3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize