happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Bring me that man meat
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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