She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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