very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I had to cum in my sink.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
