the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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