A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
