is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
