it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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