He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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