He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
