And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize