i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How naked do you want me to be?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
