she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
