Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
