no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
